Positive discipline is making a comeback on the parenting-front as more and more parents are becoming aware of their actions and how they affect their kids. Yelling, spanking, and even demeaning kids is used as discipline in some circles and households, but studies have shown that kids who come from homes where positive discipline is practised tend to be better off academically, socially, and mentally, as well. You can get your kids to behave without yelling. These discipline options are positive and help your kids more than negative tactics will. Here is How to Get Kids to Listen (Without Yelling!)
Talk to your kids
It sometimes is as simple as having a good talk with your children. When you talk to them, you will be able to understand your children, and understanding them goes a long way in building a strong relationship that has trust and communication. Children are not inherently bad and don’t set out to misbehave. There is generally a reason they do misbehave, whether they’re frustrated, sleepy, or just don’t understand what you expect of them. By talking to them you will be able to learn what makes your children tick and you can help correct bad behaviours before they even start.
Spend some time looking in the mirror
Why are YOU yelling? What makes YOU get aggravated? Before you can be an effective parent, you must learn to control your own actions and emotions. That is the first step in being able to use positive discipline. How do you expect your child to behave correctly if you can’t master that skill yourself? When you can control your emotions in the heat of the moment, you can effectively use positive tactics.
Reinforce positive behaviours
You don’t want to yell, and when you don’t have to yell to get your child’s attention they need to see that as a win for everyone. To show them how this benefits them, reward their positive behaviour. If a child throws a tantrum walk away from it. Don’t give it the attention to even have time to start yelling. If they throw a toy, tell them that it is unacceptable, take the toy, and walk away from them. When they do something nice or good, though, praise them. They need to see that you notice their good behaviours as well as their bad.
Don’t put yourself on repeat by constantly saying “no” or “don’t.” Those are negative phrases. Instead, make your children listen by offering something new to listen to. Don’t just yell “no” at your child in the grocery store when you see them touching items. Instead, ask them to help you pick up things or put things in the cart. Tell them that they are great helpers and that by helping you they’ve cut down the shopping time so that you can all go do something fun instead of being stuck in the grocery store all day. This will make them feel important, plus they see a benefit to their good behaviour.
Take a time out
Not the child- you. When you feel the need to yell, simply tell your children “I am in a bad mood right now and I do not want to yell at you. Please find a quiet activity while I take a time out.” You might be surprised at how well being honest, open, and respectful of your children can get their attention. Once they see you trying to calm yourself without yelling, they will be more responsive to you because they see that you are respecting them.