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What To Do When Your Child Lies To You #StreamTeam

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April 21, 2015 · 21 Comments

Parenting Tips for What To Do When Your Child Lies To You

The Rayburns, from the new Netflix original series, Bloodline, have some dark family secrets they’re willing to do anything to keep from coming out — lying included. While you may not know the Rayburn clan just yet, The Canadian Press calls Bloodline “a searing family drama.” Starring Kyle Chandler (Friday Night Lights) and set in the Florida Keys, the series follows a family caught between the ugly truth and the terrible lie that covers it up – a storyline that conjured The Montreal Gazette to reveal they were “unable to stop watching after one episode.”

But let’s face it, we all lie.

White lies make life easier for parents (the park is closed today) or make our kids happy (Santa Claus is coming!). Young kids make up stories as they learn the difference between fact and fiction, while older kids sometimes lie to cover for each other or to stay out of trouble.

No parent wants to catch their child lying, but when it happens, what do does one do? Well, when you face this trial as a parent there are some things you can do. The most important thing you can do as a parent is to keep your cool. From there, you can make better decisions.

When Your Child Lies

What To Do When Your Child Lies To You

Talk About It

Lying is dealt with differently in every family, however, every family should learn to talk about the issue at hand. Yelling and screaming isn’t the way to deal with a lying child. Take the time to talk to your child about the decision they made, why they made it, and why there’s consequences for lying.

Discuss the Consequences

Whether the consequence for lying is time out or loss of privileges, typically a consequence is chosen for a child who chooses to lie. If you’re brave, sometimes you can outline several consequences and ask your child which one they’d like to choose. Make sure you choose consequences that make sense to you your child.

Think back to your own childhood.  You may remember lying to your parents because you were afraid of the consequences of something you did.    Be sure to explain to your child that lying damages friendships and relationships and may cause people to lose trust in them.

To reinforce this, when you child tells the truth reward them with a hug and let them know you appreciate their honesty before dealing with their actions.  For example, if your child admits to calling someone a name, after thanking them for being honest, require them to apologize.  If you child lies to you about it though, have them apologize and remove a privilege from them.  Lying should incur a worse punishment than a simple misdeed.

Understand Why Your Child Lied

As a parent, you were not born a psychologist. You cannot understand the exact reason why your child lied. You can take the time to understand the situation and why your child took the time to lie to you instead of telling you the truth. Were they trying to get out of hard work? Were they trying to take a shortcut? Were they trying to get out of something? Analyze the situation to better understand why your child lied.

Forgiveness is Important

Remember that every adult in the world has made the mistake of lying at one point or another. No matter how upset you are with your child for lying, it’s important for them to know that they are loved and forgiven. Yes, there are consequences for lying, but it doesn’t mean your child has to pay for their mistake every day for the next month. Let your child know that they messed up, but everyone needs to move on and make better choices in the future.

 

Check out Bloodline along with some additional kid-friendly titles related to lying and honesty for inspiration.

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire
For your little kids:

netflix

  1. Super Why!: S1,E15: Humpty Dumpty and Other Fairytale Adventures: Pinocchio
  2. Curious George: S1, E19: Truth about George Burger
  3. Clifford the Big Red Dog: S1, E26: The Kibble Crook
  4. The Adventures of Chuck & Friends: S1, E9: The Pothole / Chuck’s Perfect Plans

For your big kids:

netflix2

  1. Monster High: Frights, Camera, Action!
  2. H2O: Just Add Water
  3. Mean Girls
  4. iCarly: S1, E12: iPromise not to Tell

And for teens and parents:

netflix3

  1. Bloodline
  2. Just Go With It
  3. Liar, Liar
  4. Pretty Little Liars

 

How do you cope when you catch your kid lying?

21 Comments
Filed Under: ParentingTagged: liars, lying, StreamTeam

Comments

  1. Liz Mays says

    April 23, 2015 at 3:48 pm

    Kids seem to be able to come up with some crazy stories when they’re on the spot. This is really good advice and I have been watching Bloodline lately.

    Reply
  2. Mama to 5 BLessings says

    April 23, 2015 at 3:58 pm

    Lying is my pet peeve and you are right we all do it including myself. It is something I try not to do to my kids so I set a good example for my kids.

    Reply
  3. Sarah Bailey says

    April 23, 2015 at 4:01 pm

    I think I used to come out with some good ones as a kid! Amazing the stories that can be weaved.

    Reply
  4. coolchillmom says

    April 23, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    thank you for this post. true we are not psychologists but we have to wear many hats
    your listed items put things into perspective

    Reply
  5. Jeanine says

    April 23, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    Luckily I haven’t really had go deal with this yet. I am not a fan of lying and all my kids know it so it will be interesting to deal with.

    Reply
  6. Theresa says

    April 23, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    I usually call them out on their lies. They get embarrassed and usually that prevents them from lying for some time after that.

    Reply
  7. Heather says

    April 23, 2015 at 5:48 pm

    At 6 my daughter is just learning about lies. A little scary.

    Reply
  8. Amber Nelson says

    April 23, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    Great tips! We are definitely working on this at our house. I have a little one who likes to tell stories.

    Reply
  9. Lois Alter Mark says

    April 23, 2015 at 8:52 pm

    My daughter lied a couple of times when she was little, and we had some big talks about that. She’s now one of the most honest people I know!

    Reply
  10. toughcookiemommy says

    April 23, 2015 at 10:51 pm

    I think it is important to have patience when our children lie to us. After all, we were kids once and know what it was like to get in trouble with our parents.

    Reply
  11. Lesley says

    April 23, 2015 at 11:04 pm

    Very good suggestions. I prefer to lean on the forgiveness and grace method myself. I definitely talk to them about how lies hurt people but I really don’t pound them for it too badly because my kids are sensitive and they get the point I’m trying to make very quickly. I’m blessed with good kids, I really am.

    Reply
  12. celebbabylaundry says

    April 23, 2015 at 11:10 pm

    These are great tips, but the sad thing about lies is that a lot of times you don’t know and never find out that you were lied too; it’s good to teach them to tell the truth and things are better that way!

    Reply
  13. Annie M says

    April 24, 2015 at 12:36 am

    Truth is always better. I know I’ve told my parents lies & they never found out. Of course, I never did anything stupid either…

    Reply
  14. Pam says

    April 24, 2015 at 2:54 am

    These are great tips to follow. It really bothers me when the little ones lie or anyone lies but I do understand that white lies sometimes are necessary.

    Reply
  15. Angela says

    April 24, 2015 at 11:00 am

    My son was always the worst liar. He gave himself away every time. This is really good advice. Whether we want to admit it or not, our kids are going to lie to us at some point.

    Reply
  16. Aisha Kristine Chong says

    April 24, 2015 at 12:07 pm

    Awesome tips to do. This will probably be helpful for me in the near future.

    Reply
  17. Ourfamilyworld says

    April 24, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    I love the ideas. I think lying is a phase that should be taken seriously

    Reply
  18. Veronica says

    April 24, 2015 at 11:08 pm

    My son has discovered the art of lying and to me that is the worst thing possible. Great tips to keep in mind

    Reply
  19. Lisa Rios says

    April 24, 2015 at 11:14 pm

    These are all great tips! I agree, we all lie & its is very important to keep yourself cool rather than getting mad about it when your child lies. Understanding why they lied & forgiving them is more important for sure.

    Reply
  20. Chrissy Mazzocchi says

    April 26, 2015 at 11:26 am

    I always try to talk to my kids calm to see why they lied and I usually get an answer, these are great tiips.

    Reply
  21. salexis says

    December 28, 2015 at 3:23 pm

    I find this one super tricky to handle as a parent!!! Thanks for the guide and tips 🙂

    Reply

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I'm a Canadian Mom Blogger & Life Love Liz is a family friendly blog where I share about my life with my kids, the food I love and and all the things I enjoy doing. Read More About Me!

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